Words of Wisdom From a Comedian

By DAN K. THOMASSON
Jun 16, 2004, 03:04


Bill Cosby, who may be the only Hollywood personality with a doctorate, had some pretty cogent things to say about parenting awhile back and his remarks have stirred up a debate among fellow educators, leading civil rights figures and public officials, a number of whom think he may have gone too far.

While the remarks delivered on the 50th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education, which overturned the doctrine of separate but equal schools for blacks and whites, i.e. segregation, were aimed mainly at blacks at the lower end of the economic scale, Dr. Cosby's admonitions could just have easily applied to parents of all colors and financial position. In fact, mothers and fathers everywhere should pay attention to his sound advice.

Cosby's lecture touched on such subjects as illegitimacy, the breakup of families, overindulgence by parents, dope, fashion, failure to supervise at an early age, deportment, lack of respect in the home that sets the stage for later transgressions, and so forth. As is his style, he didn't mince words condemning "people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange jump suit. Where were you when he was 2? Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know he had a pistol?"

It is a question that might have been asked the parents of the perpetrators of the Columbine High School massacre or any number of similar atrocities committed because someone wasn't paying attention.

"The church is only open on Sunday and you can't keep asking Jesus to do things for you. You can't keep saying that God will find a way. God is tired of you," Cosby said. "I wasn't there when God was saying it. I am making this up, but it sounds like what God would say."

There were and are those among African-Americans who believe Cosby was too harsh. Others felt the address was too long in coming. That is for the black community to decide. As a parent and grandparent, however, I found the remarks as applicable to those in my own race as to his. In discussing them with my children I discovered that they too felt that way about Cosby's criticism, citing several examples of recent incidents among affluent whites in their own communities, including a senseless killing that could have been avoided had parents heeded the warning signs.

What Cosby was telling us was that bringing children into the world carries with it responsibilities no matter the socioeconomic status of the parents. Neither poverty nor affluence can be an excuse for failing to meet those requirements. If blacks have missed the opportunities provided by desegregation of the schools so have the whites who fled those schools into academies that were thinly disguised efforts to get around the law, leaving the public institutions almost as segregated as they were in the first place.

He seriously questioned the role models society now offers our children, citing multimillionaire athletes who can't write a paragraph or read and who show utter disdain for the rules of society. His criticism by implication extends to all sorts of popular icons who treat convention of any kind as though it were a disease and profit beyond all reason because of it. Television panders to the most juvenile of minds and offers hours of vacuous programming.

Reading his remarks, I personally couldn't help recall my own role model as a young aspiring basketball player. He was an African-American of superb natural athletic ability and superior intellect who advanced the cause of desegregation in and out of the classroom at a most difficult time. His mother was an outstanding lady who struggled to keep her family afloat and, in the end, not only persevered but also excelled in parenting against long odds.

My own father grew up similarly disadvantaged, having lost my grandfather to disease at an early age. He succeeded in part because of a kindly stepfather.

This was not meant to be a sermon on the failures in any single culture, black or white, in our society. It is merely an effort to apply the assessment of a wise man to us all. It would behoove as parents to take heed. Cosby, the consummate educator, didn't make it out to be rocket science, just common sense and caring. It's really just a value thing and there can be no greater value than that.

(Dan K. Thomasson is former editor of the Scripps Howard News Service.)

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